all the right friends
i have a friend. a friend who, although she probably doesn�t go by it anymore, i like to call tinker. in the interest of multimedia, and because of the fact that she�s a fucking goddess, here she is:
miss tinker and i don�t talk as much as we should. but when we do, as was the case the other night, all we seem to do is reminisce about days once gone. the prime of the cranz+tink relationship, when everything was good in our little internet corner of the galaxy. it�s like we have stopped, drawn a line in the sand and said �right-o then, no more memories will be made, just memories shared.� i guess this what happens when you leave months between emails. but miss tinker knows how fond i am of her, and how much i care.
last night, in a strange event of random-ness, the girl from uni who found my old diary had a message left in her livejournal by one of my best friends from high school. i guess the online diary scene really is small and incestual. i�ve been reading said old friend�s diary and its sort of making me sad that i am no longer a part of her life. but in the same time i find it really interesting reading the juxtaposition in her life of the old friends we shared, and the new friends she�s made since we lost contact. and it�s interesting reading, and seeing how she has changed and how she hasn�t. i hypothesise that if i was to sit down and spend time with her, i would find her to be exactly the same person i used to sit next to in english every day. but would she look across the table and have the same thoughts ??
i left a message on her livejournal. it may or may not have referenced dandy warhol�s song lyrics. now i am deep in thought about whether to, if indeed she does make contact back, say �trigger-cut.diaryland.com - that�s me.� it�s like when someone sends you a christmas card, you feel obligated to send one back. because this slate is so clean i am able to make the offer, but i�m not sure.
i am also scared of conversing with her, because no doubt she will say �so, what�s happening with you?� it�s made me realise that i am at exactly the same point in my life as i was in the summer of 2000/2001. sure i may have prospects, in 2000 it was that whole going to uni thing and this year it�s finding a job at a radio station. but other than that it�s the same. i find myself having to look for new friends seens most of my old ones are spread through country towns state wide. i�ve just spent a long summer sitting on the couch. i have no one to share my life with, except vicariously through this diary. but most of all i am feeling like i don�t know what my future will hold.
what it comes down to is that nothing has changed and i don�t feel like i am going anywhere.
i just remembered that i wanted a digital camera. i think i will get one too, and make this a truly multimedia experience. the reason i remembered is that there is a photo of miss kirbee, spunky wil anderson and moi at the big day out [which was taken just before i, yes hello, pashed on with one of my bestest friends. eep] in my bedroom propped up by a speaker. i wanted to post it in this entry. but my sheer laziness stops me from sliding the scanner out from underneath my bed and attaching it. i suck.
but hey, i have a job now, i can afford a digital camera. well, when i get paid in two weeks time i can. as for now i have to steal money from my mother to buy meal break yogo and after work chicken teriyaki subs.
i still think about that boy who lives in canberra and listens to nada surf. all too often to. my heart aches. so i guess i�ll go back an entry and look at pictures of chris taylor instead.
i feel like getting in my mums car and drive over to panania while listening to pavement to see if erin is around. i feel like having things the way they used to be with her. and i think i�m gonna try too.
2004-02-14 4:48 p.m.