the price is to watch it fail

i was sitting on the first floor of the kfc on bathurst and george, staring at three police officers on the ground floor buying their dinner. the ideas for this entry start forming in my head. �man� i think to myself� �miss elerigby will be loving these last few entries.� and sure enough, when i get home there�s a comment from her. so, this entry goes out, special dedication, to the girl herself.

in october of 2002, i started the downward spiral by having a one night stand with some random at my small country university.

last night, after work, i was tottering off to have drinks with some girls i used to sit next to in english in high school. i decided it would be a good idea to get some food in the old belly before i hit the turps. so i hit up kfc for some extra greasy chicken and potato and gravy.

so i�m sitting there, up to my wrists in chicken. and these three coppers walk in. the youngest of the three looks like my best friend. then it hits me. holy shit, i had sex with him back at uni. fuck me.

i�m jealous that he actually has a job that is related to his course. but his uniform is a little big, and a little new, so he looks like a work experience kid. or at least not like someone who is supposed to command respect.

the following was written, in black pen, on a scrap of paper that found its way home in the pocket of my light blue jacket:

all this talk of sex and std�s and fucken grandchildren is driving me insane. it has to stop. she goes on and on. it has to stop. but where was she after the big day out? when i was a mess for days. fuck. the thing is, she only sees what she wants to see. or absolutely can�t avoid seeing. the rest of the time she is blissfully unaware of anything i do. or who i do it with. man, shit would�ve been a different story if my best friend from uni had�ve walked out of my room on the morning of the 25th of january. just leave me alone. alone with my music and my onlinediary and if i want advice i�ll ask for it.

21/03/2004 22:39

light | love