no escaping gravity
my friend from work, shazza, [the chick with the blonde hair] sms�d me this arvo and said �i�m bored, lets go to [the sleepy town i attended university in] to party with the spice girls.� fuck me, she almost had me convinced that it was a good idea. in fact, if i didn�t have to work tomorrow, i�m pretty sure i would be there right now. just cause i�m up for a sea change.
and because i want to see that boy jeremy. because i want to tell him how much i hate him for not coming to my party. but in the next breath i want to tell him that i�m still there. fuck. fuck. i hate how he tears me up like this. with him, i feel like a little dog, running after him unconditionally. it sucks. no, i�m not doing it anymore.
he sends me a message that says �i�m sorry miss trigger cut, i�ve treated you like shit this year. i�m sorry� i send back �that�s not good enough.� and it�s not, but i can�t be without him.
i ran into my best friend at hmv in livo today. strange. we got lunch and talked and talked and talked. i said �you can�t just completely ignore me for three weeks and not come to my party and then expect everything to be back to normal just because you�re tired of fighting.� what i said was true, but i would give anything for things to be back to normal. it will take time, but maybe we�re getting there.
vinyl shirt guy is pissing me off too. it seems the only time we do stuff is when he suggests it. �lets check out a band� i went, the band sucked. �lets get coffee� i went, i was 15 minutes late for work. but then i say �come to my party� and he doesn�t turn up. then i send a message saying �lets get breakfast on saturday morning� which so far has gone completely ignored. as of now, i�m over him too.
what it all comes down to is that i am alone. and i don�t want to be anymore
11/06/2004 01:43