the colour and the shape
matthew caws said it best: to find someone you love, you gotta be someone you love.
i realise now that i had to face, and expel my internal demons to be able to settle down and love one person unconditionally. and to be able to find comfort in the fact that he loves me equally, not get claustrophobic from it.
i had to let go of jeremy, and three years of turmoil over whether i wanted him or not.
and i had to realise that vinyl shirt guy [who was in the baggsmen when they were still the hive, if that makes any sense. i thought i�d drop that in for some rockstar cred] and i were too different for anything to ever happen. i was a month into my current relationship when i came to that conclusion.
and now, im ready to face long term commitment, as scary as that may sound. but then i think of my boy wrapped around me as we sleep, and my motivations for everything become clear.
the good news is, however, that my mum is finally accepting him. she has been pressuring me for the last few days to think of something to get him for christmas. tonight i thought of something really rad, almost better than what i plan on getting him. it comforts me that she wants to go to some effort for him.
im just about ready for an annual christmas whinge.
also, my hair is various summery shades of golden browns. the red was too much effort.
and i have a job interview on monday, hopefully it all goes well
finally, i had a sex dream about chris taylor last night. fuck it was good.
09/12/2004 23:36