daniel doesn't dare disturb the universe
it just started raining. rain always makes me think of my diary, for some unknown reason. i think i'm at my most pensive/romantic/hopeful/artistic when it's raining.
i am getting these feelings that i don't quite have a firm grasp on everything that's happening. and i hate it. i want absolute control.
but i just don't know what i want. or whether i am doing the right thing.
it's been over a week since i saw him last. time puts funny thoughts in my head.
he is needy and i don't want that. and he sort of makes me feel like i am being suffocated. i need air and space.
i'm not doing enough to see him. but things are so hectic, and so busy, that i just don't have the time that is needed.
but still the thoughts that fill my head before i go to sleep each night are that i want him to be next to me.
there's so much to do, and i'm so unmotivated about it all. but i am the one who ends up doing everything.
this new one will be better to me, you'll see.
this new one has already told me that i'm beautiful, and he brushes my emo fringe out of my face after we kiss. and it's the softest, most wonderful feeling.
and time and space, they will work themselves out eventually.
i'll just enjoy the sound of the rain.
and tomorrow my new life will start in summer hill. it already sounds so peaceful that i can't help but imagine weekends spent lazing on my new bed.
and everything will be alright.
i am the hero of this tale.
14/05/2006 23:24