how else to explain the higher potential
this entry is about nada surf and boys. feel free to skip it.
sometimes i forget how brilliant my favourite band are. like this morning on the train, when the song happy kid snuck up on me. nestled in between weezer's my name is jonas, the crustaceans very sexy dexy's midnight questions, the beastie boys' super disco breakin and tko by le tigre. a lot of the time i skip nada surf songs. i just know them too well, and a lot of the time they don't excite me. but sometimes, i'm just struck, dumb smiling and speechless by the beauty in matthew caws' voice and his lyrics. my heart warmed by the music.
some times i'm reminded of the sad songs. lyrics from songs like 80 windows that describe my situation and leave me heart broken and desperate. then there's songs like firecracker and disposession. which remind me of breaking free and running. disposession was the exact song i was listening to when i was skipping school in year 12 and met deano the train boy. and then there's treading water and do it again [my newest favourite] which fill me with hope.
and then there's the songs in french, that while i know the lyrics from the english counterparts, i just listen to for the sheer beauty of the music and that man's voice.
nada surf have been by my side for over six years now, and i'm so thankful for every moment i've shared with those songs. i really hope, that if i ever have a daughter, that she falls in love with a band like i did. they've helped me more than therapy or any person ever could. and they don't even know it.
while talking to other melanie in the last few days, i've been thinking about these things. i haven't had a crush on someone like the one i had when i was 16. the most completely amazed by someone i've ever been was the morning i met vinyl shirt guy. i know the person i want to spend the rest of my life with, i'm just admitting this to myself, and it isn't who you think. i know the person i want to be with in the mean time. the one i have at the moment i don't feel like seeing ever again.
now i just need to plot. but i've been plotting for years. it's a forgone conclusion that it's probably not going to happen. but oh it would be lovely.
oh and mezzy, i miss you so much.
20/06/2006 17:49