hyperspace

some scribblings i found on bits of paper in my bag.

and all of a sudden i'm inspired to write beautiful words and have them dance on this screen like never before, like i never dreamed i could do,

but my time here is short and i want this message to be heard so i scribble lead pencil on paper and my hand writing has gone so long unused that it looks like something done by a four year old.

hurry hurry hurry.

that girl was my heart for so long. she gave me life and hope for love. and i haven't spoken to her in a life time, and i miss the validation she gave me.

up late and i'm a dork but i guess you knew that. but now you do. but now you do.

a week a week a week a week a week a week a week a week a week.

a chapter in my life is finally closing. i'm a better person for having lived it, but i'm better off without you. YOU CHEATING MOTHERFUCKER.

this one will treat me so much better. this one doesn't lecture and he doesn't take himself seriously.

we have a thing. established thing. the next step is an update of the myspace profile.

soon. soon. soon. i'll be back in the southern city. there's two people down there....

the words come out so much easier when scrawled on paper. raw and pure. but they'll probably never be seen by anyone but me. and this makes me sad cause i'm narcissistic enough that i want to do this for an audience. i want you to read this and i want you to comment and tell me how beautiful this is.

everything's simple. there's no pretention or scene wank. like what you like and that's it. it's almost suburban. just simple. the suburban advantage.

he doesn't lecture me, he listens. and he laughs at the things i have to say. it's good to feel funny again.

when my phone vibrates it jumps, and so does my heart. oh mezzy, i wish you were around for me to gush to. you'd love the stories i've come out of the last few months with.

tonight i'm going to have a lovely bath and eat icecream or something similar and i don't work til late tomorrow morning so i can stay up late with my jarmies on and talk to wonderful boys.

we talked for the last time as housemates and he did the same thing he always does. turned things around to make himself feel better about things by making me look like the bad guy.

but everything is so bright. i feel so small when i look up at the sky and think about distance and time. but both of these things will work themselves out if we wish hard enough.

i talk to my mum last night and we talked about boy and whinged that he he is so far away. and she said that it isn't really. i'm so glad she thinks it can work. i was worried she wouldn't. i want her to meet him, and to like him. i know she will. he's everything she's ever wanted me to have.

19/07/2006 18:37

light | love