bacardi
it's been almost two months since we started again, and it's going so well. i'm so, so happy right now. all the pieces have fallen into place.
but already i worry. i worry how long i am going to be able to keep up enough energy and optimism to carry the both of us.
one of the reasons why i fell for him again was that i read the things he had written on the internet at some very low points and it hurt. it felt like someone was stabbing me in my heart. and i realised all i wanted was to look after him. and be there for him and make him feel better.
but is that a healthy basis for a relationship? i don't know.
he's so fragile. and i worry i'm going to say the wrong thing and break him. or that i'll be in a dark place of my own and say something spiteful that i don't really mean and ruin everything.
but i guess i shouldn't worry about these things now, or i'll miss how wonderful and dazzling and bright everything is right now. it may be something that has grown out of broken and harsh beginnings. but it's the best start to a new relationship i've ever had.
and i really, really want it to work.
05/05/2010 16:22